Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

Start your order with "I'd like...". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99 please pull up to the first window."

Ask if you can get a pizza with just crust, no toppings.

Call a delivery-only pizza store and insist on "dining in."

Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

Answer their questions with questions.

Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

Stutter on the letter "p."

Try to rent a pizza.

Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

Eliminate verbs from your speech.

When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

Belch directly into the mouthpiece then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

Ask to see a menu.

Psychoanalyze the order taker.

Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

Report a petty theft to the order taker.

Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and "Great Scott!"

Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

Start the call with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and...action!"

Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

Be vague with your order.

After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a hangup.

Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

Put them on hold.

Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

Haggle.

Order a one-inch pizza.

Order term life insurance.

When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

Order a steamed pizza.

Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up. Repeat every hour.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "The last guy let me do it."

(I found this on Facebook and I know that alot of ya'll don't have it and refuse to get it (REB) so I put this up. I literally had tears running down my cheeks as I read this and plan to try it. Even if I won't be eating the pizza. Dieting D;

And I'll be getting a new deviation tomorrow or whenever. I start my 2hr 45m art class tomorrow and I want to start fresh. Sorry old drawings. I hate you D